EYE CONTACT

It happens frequently to all of us. We avoid eye contact ‘like ships passing in the night’.   We pretend not to see them, they pretend to be looking elsewhere. It is uncomfortable, this avoiding eye contact as if we are blind to each other. We aren’t blind to the social slight. We sense that this negative social ploy is self-protectively dishonest on both sides. They did see us, and we did see them. “Unfriendly and disinterested“ is communicated across the dark social waters and warns both ‘passing ships’ against risky future eye contact. It’s settled then. Play it safe with your eyes.

Everybody does this. It seems fairly insignificant most of the time. But it is not unimportant. It is in fact an insidious social sin. “Insidious” because we are not aware of its’ actual source or consequences or the remedy for it, so it leads to blame and self righteous judgment for a person we don’t even know! Or to lame excuses like “I’m not a demonstrative person,“ or “I’ve always been shy”. But our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ showed His love toward us while we were His enemies, and wasn’t too shy to risk rejection and the cross! Let’s face it! Our character diminishes out there in the dark lonely ocean where everyone is averting their eyes.

The source of this sin is the fear of feeling rejected and unimportant. Both parties are afraid that an overture with our eyes will be hurtfully rejected or ignored--we’ve all experienced this pain-- so we decline to risk it. We are afraid of their feelings. But mostly we are we are afraid of ours.

I John 4:16-18 has the precise remedy for this sin. Just listen to this "And we have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in Him. By this love is perfected with us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world.There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love because He first loved us."

 “Perfect love casts out fear”-- of rejection! So let’s do this: make a covenant with your eyes to always be first to make eye contact with everyone, to signal love and acceptance for the sake of showing Christ’s Love. Your fear will dissipate in the thrill of becoming an openly loving person, like our Lord. When a dark ship approaches to pass you blindly, make eye contact! And stay with it! The Perfect Love in you (Jesus Christ, by faith!) has made you bold to forget yourself, to follow Christ, and to make a friendly connection. A godly commitment to such a profoundly simple act can change your life!

Rae Edlin