13 HELPS FOR A BLESSED MARRIAGE
My husband and I recently celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary. Our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren made it a very special family occasion. In writing thank you notes to them, I thought it might be helpful to include some helps that could bless their marriages. We learned them through the years little by little, but what a blessing to be able to get a jump start on the things that work together for good. I share them with you in hopes that no matter where you are in your journey together as husband and wife, you, too, will find them helpful.
This is as I wrote them to my beloved family:
Dad’s/Grandpa’s favorite number is 13. Good things have happened to him on the 13th, like being born, his marriage, first grandchild and other minor things, so 13 has become kind of special to him. I thought it would be appropriate to list 13 important things that have helped to keep our marriage on track for 60 years. It is a process and does take time, even years, but we hung in there and continue to do so. Perhaps they will encourage you to do likewise. It is never too late to start. We do reap what we sow.
1. Committing to love each other until death do us part and to make our marriage work (and it is work). The commitment was made to each other before God and people and that makes us accountable.
2. Never (well, almost never) letting the sun go down on our anger. Take care of matters so that you can sleep and start your new day in peace.
3. Realizing that neither of us is perfect, so we must have a little mercy and grace toward each other.
4. Being willing to acknowledge your mistake, short coming or your wrong and asking for forgiveness.
5. Being willing to forgive, even when you don’t feel like it, knowing how much God is willing to forgive you.
6. Speaking words that heal and build up, not words that wound and tear down. The power of life and death is in words we speak.
7. Getting rid of critical, judgmental and condemning thoughts. Don’t allow yourself to even think it. That includes self-condemning thoughts as well.
8. Looking for the good in others, especially your mate, and in your situation. Clear the air with a song or an uplifting word.
9. Confronting the problems that need to be resolved. Deal with them for the sake of the marriage. They need to be identified and confronted to change. Get rid of the bad habits.
10. Stopping the arguing and quarreling. A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
11. Praying together. Break through the discomfort and learn to give your cares to God -- together. He wants to be involved.
12. Learning to put your mate’s needs before your own. Love comes from giving to each other, not from taking from each other. It is called dying to selfishness, or growing up.
13. Giving thanks in everything. Everything has a purpose. Even our pain causes us to turn away from that which causes it. Live with an attitude of gratitude.
Here are some helpful sayings I came across:
Make peace with your past so it won’t mess up your present.
Life is 50% what you make it and 50% how you take it.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
You are too blessed to be stressed.
There is a better life waiting for you than you are living. Go for it!
Flossie Randels
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